It's been awhile...

Been busy and it's almost a week since things kinda changed. Hmm...trying hard to get used to it. It's not the same but i suppose that's how things are gonna be for awhile.

Finally the swimming event came to an end lastnite. I'm really glad that it's the END!! No more events for now onwards, just really fed up with things, the people, the meetings and everything. It's all full of bullshits, lies and fake people. I don't know anyone there, literally, I feel that except for one or two of them, I barely know others. Even the closest of all, I came to know the real person within. It's true that we can't judge a book by the cover. You won't really know a friend until you really get to know the person thru some ups and downs...anyway, I guess the event is over, and so is our friendship. Not to say that I'm being cruel or what, just feel that there's no point anymore. You barely talk to me, you talk to me because of what you want not because I'm your friend anymore. You say 'thank you' to me because you are saying it to everyone else and not for the sake of me helping you out. You don't even look me in the eyes when you are talking to me, so doesn't it mean something? I know...so it's over. One thing that I know is that, I'm not the only one that thinks this way, and that, I can guarantee.  Forget about it. Just really disappointed in you and I can't believe that it's happening to me AGAIN!!!! Argh!!!!!!!

After craps and probs, it's all back to square one - Studies! Yup! I'm gonna study now, no more events or shits like this anymore. Pulling myself together to be a better person!

Nice day people!

Why am I so down these few days?
I don't know!!!

Why do I get pissed so fast?
I don't know!!!!

Why do I get all teary sometimes?
I don't know!!!!

Just back off and let me think things through. No doubt that I'm a bit disappointed, but...Argh! Just forget about it!

Don't ask me anymore...please.

Many things has been on my mind these days. Just don't really know how to sort it out anymore. I don't feel like thinking about it because it pains me too much; but the more I restrain myself from thinking about it, the more it pops up in my mind.

Sometimes it's hard to explain, and I don't know where to start. Just frustrated with many things. I wanna talk about it, but not all are appropriate to know about it. People tend to make things worse these days, it doesn't help at all.

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.....

This is madness...I haven't touch a bit on Biochem test tomorrow. I'm doomed!! It's so hard to cope with it these days, and especially when I'm not feeling very well. I guess it's lack of sleep, so...I don't know when I'll get enough of sleep cuz I believe these few weeks will be madness me...

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Am I being too nice?

Am I nice to be taken advantage of?

Am I?? TELL ME!!!!

Seriously! I don't know why I tend to fall prey to all kind of people that take things i.e. ME for granted. Yeah...perhaps I'm too nice and I won't talk back or scold back, and that's why I always get into trouble.

I don't wanna be GOOD GOOD Girl anymore. I wanna be Bad somtimes. I can't always follow what people say and how others want be to be, I can't satisfy everyone! and trust me, from now onwards, I WILL NOT!! I've learnt my lesson the hard way and I guess I just gotta be 'bad' sometimes...I need to be selfish, not-so-nice to others...and etc...

I'm just so fed up with people that just don't appreciate my help! I'm not seeking for returns or anything, just...appreciate my help...that's all. I've forked out my precious time to do everything I can within the given timeframe, but yet I still get complains. That's why, I can never satisfy anyone...and no point doing so anymore.

I've trusted you, and all I get is disappointment, time after time...and till today, I only realized how stupid I am. I just shouldn't have! I've given up hope...that's it. I've cared and you just took things for granted. Okay fine...perhaps it's all the same with them. I have nothing to say anymore...

Just a word

Disappointment...

Yeah!! So, one week break is here!

I'm really looking forward to it, well...more of the rest I needed; not really about CNY. But I don't mind getting some extra cash from Ang Paus...hehe...

When I was walking down my block to pass something to my friend just now, I realized many residents have left for home. All of the doors are padlock and slippers all gone, there were silence and peace...a bit too quiet, felt a bit weird, but that's the way it is here. A number of my classmates and almost all my friends are already back home or maybe on their way back...Sobs...Anyway, for a fact, everyone will eagerly want to go home when holidays or some break is here, that's including me of course. 

Talking about home, I haven't really been back home for more than 24 hours for the pass 2 weeks. Why? Cuz I stayed back to study and do reports which is never-ending. Hmph! Compared to previous semesters I've spend in INTI, I think this would be the first time I stayed back on the beginning of the semester to STUDY and do REPORTS!!! Can u believe?!? It's really rare for me to do so, but perhaps, I've changed. Perhaps, this is a prep for me to get use to the feeling of being away from home. Perhaps, this is how it's gonna be for the days to come...Year 2 is hectic...there's no doubt to it. Gotta work hard, and get good grades!!! And get to a GOOD Uni!!! That's what I'll aim for this year!

Will be going home later, but time seem to pass by so slowly. Blah...1 week of hols, gotta get work done fast to enjoy CNY, Study for the coming 2 Tests and finish up the 2 assignments due...and not forgetting the darn biochemistry journals and reports, and of course BIO119 report which is the easiest compared to the others!!!! It's frustrating when it comes to journals cuz it practically takes up 3/4 of ur time, oh well! That's the way it's gonna be for the rest of the days...so gotta cope with it and learn to adapt!

I just realized that I have yet to do any CNY shopping this year! Seriously!!! All the weekends are occupied with workloads, so this weekend, I'll be going out SHOPPING!! Yippie!!! ^^ So looking forward to it.

Still have few hours left! Gotta pack!!

Happy Chinese New Year Everyone!!

I'm sure you all will have a splendid one!!

Best Wishes!!! ^^

*Xin Nian Kuai Le*

I've been pretty busy lately.

Almost 3/4 of my time are occupied by reports and studies and some clubs stuff. But mostly studies. Gosh! I'm at the verge of breakdown sometimes. I don't know how long I can cope with this anymore. Sometimes, it's just too hard to pull yourself together and get thru it, cuz there are just too much to be done!!! I even thought that I might go nutz if things continue to be like this.

It's unpleasant to know but it's the truth.

Anyway, i'll try my best to do everything on time. If I can't take it anymore, I'll just have to let it go. This is not only meant for studies, it's meant for many things as well.

Super packed schedule, wanna hv a look?
24/1   Biochem reports due
25/1   Biochem Quiz 1
28/1   Genetics Test 1
          Biology of Organism Report due
29/1   Genetics reports due 
          Biology of Organism Quiz 1 
31/1   Biochem Report due (I think)
1/2     Biochem Test 1
          Biology of Organism Assignment 1 due

 See the schedule?????!!!!!??? It's MADNESS isn't it?

I really envy those 1+2 students and also some seniors that don't have so many subjects and less workload.

Seriously! Goodness!!!

K...no more complaints. Back to work. Just to release some tension here.

Have a nice day people! Hopefully u guys are betta off!!

Am I angry at you or it's just me, myself and I?

Or is it out of fear that I'm angry at you? I don't know...

I know I have no reason to get angry at you for you didn't do anything wrong at all.

It's just me being childish and all.....

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Whatever...

STupid! Stupid! Stupid!!!!!!!!!!

I really don't know how to express my anger.
So, just let the 3 words above explain it all.

Simple yet complicated!

Argh!!!!!

Decisions were made and sometimes some would not satisfy many. I don't know how to say it, but really, I can't make decisions that can satisfy everyone. I'm sorry.

Having lots of conflicts with my mind lately. Friends came into my life, some left, some remain. I'm grateful to those that stayed close to me and it's my utmost regret that some left. I know I've done many wrong things, not keeping my promises and all, but I didn't mean to do so. I swear. Perhaps it's just not the right time and not the right place.

Well, you may be right. I might be really TOO BUSY for a friend. I have nothing to say, and I know you might hate me for this. It's always been this way, I can't satisfy others needs and I get all sorts of criticism. Speechless. Undeniable. It's my fault. All my fault. I won't blame you if you don't talk to me anymore. I can accept it.

To another friend, sorry that I didn't keep my words. I didn't know that I would run out of funds that quickly. Sorry. I don't what other things I can tell you, "Sorry", I don't hope to lose a friend like you. REally.

So...in conclusion with all the evidence shown....

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I'm not a good friend.

2008!! Happy New YEar!!!!

Woohooo!!!

A new year with new hopes and a new life! Hope things would change for the better.

For the first time in my life, I didn't celebrate the usher of the new year with my family. Anyway, I enjoyed myself in Genting! Happy to meet up with some friends over there too. ^^ The fireworks were really nice and the whole place were packed with people! My god!! But it was fun!

Best Wishes to everyone. Have a wonderful and great year ahead!